Walk a mile in my shoes

So it's been a whole week since I last blogged...So much can happen in a week and so much did.

I'm not sure if it's just me who has these 'moments' but I can't even remember what I did last Monday, Tues: I took a friend up to hospital, Wed: work and went over to my sissy's for dinner and a sleepover (sounds like I'm 12 years old), Thurs: work and a friends 18th and a night out at Fridays..(I felt like a bloody Nana!!!) Fri:  Work and  2 movies on the couch, Sat: Stepdad's 60th, Sun: BBQ with the fam and a trip to the skate park (for the kids..not me) oh and again 2 movies on the couch...old habits die hard.

So I've gone from being 12 years old to being a nana in the space of one night, but don't they say age is just a number???  I know some 18 year olds who seem more mature than some 40 years olds I know, and by who's definition is it on what is the appropriate way for someone of a certain age to act? is there an appropriate way? I'm no spring chicken but I'm not an old duck either... So how do I behave??

I think I agree with the quote that 'age is just a number' Everybody has a unique way at looking at life, some may have been brought up with hardships in their life that they have had to 'grow' up fast and are responsible and mature for their 'age' while others may well have had everything handed to them on a silver platter and haven't had a hard day in their life and therefore want everything right now and will have a tantrum like you would expect a two year old to have just so they can get their own way. 

Question...who hasn't done this??? Gone out for a night, drunk a bit too much, was very loud and a bit cheeky, and probably woke up the next day saying they will never drink again..

Some of you may have done it at 18 or others, like myself, didn't really get to go out at that age for one reason or another, have found themselves single at a later stage in their life and are now revelling in their new found freedom to go out and have a bit of fun!

My Mum thinks I am out of control, I know this because she told me on Sunday at the BBQ, I don't get how me going out one night in every 3 or so weeks is being out of control? It's not like it's going to last forever now is it, sure I have a few Vodka and Raspberry's (there's the 12 year old surfacing again - I mean about the raspberry, not the Vodka) meet new people and have a great time, and every now and then I have a slight hangover but seriously who am I hurting? (apart from my own head in the morning)

I had my first baby at 23, an unexpected surprise, and so I became the best little stay at home mum I could be, I made all of my little girls food from scratch, I took her to swimming lessons, I made all the party food, did all the fun stuff like making my own play doh and doing craft at home, waited till she was 18 months before I did some part time work, I dedicated my whole being to creating the perfect home environment that I possibly could, I had my second baby at 28 and again, did all those things that I did with my firstborn.

I lived for my children and my fiance and when I found myself single at 31 with a 7 and a 2 year old, with no money behind me and only a little car to my name...I was lost, I felt hopeless and I didn't know who I was anymore, it has taken me over 16 months to start to find my feet, crawl out from the shell I had hidden myself in and become brave enough and confident enough to push myself out into this world and start to live again.

Through my eyes I don't see it that I am out of control, I see it that I have only just begun to become in control, I believe we have to hit rock bottom before we can claw our way back up and to me, this is just what I have begun to do. 

So therefore I am telling you (and also myself) it's ok to go out and have a drink every now and then, this is your life, you are the only person who has to live with 'you' 24 hours a day for the rest of your life, so go out and  do ALL the things that make you happy!!!